TimmysTVShows

    I’m seriously wondering why the producers of AGT make the show two hours long.  I mean, if they cut out a lot of the extra stuff they jam into it, it could easily be an hour.  But of course, they have to add all the ridiculous tryouts to “entertain” us.  Anyways, its like one of the only things on this Tuesday (and Celebrity Family Feud), so I watched all two hours.  Well, onward we go!

DALLAS, TEXAS
Here we are in Dallas, where apparently evvvvverrryyyttthhiiinnnng is bigger, cause you know, its Texas and all.  Our first victim is Corky Duke (really, Corky??), 41 year old guy who says he’s been line dancing for 15 years.  Seriously, line dancing.  Do you REALLY think that line dancing is going to get you $1,000,000?  Well he tries and fails cause Piers, Sharon, and the Hoff all buzz him.  He did bad, and the crowd swung their ax of justice.  NEXT.  Holly Harden comes in looking all cute and stuff, but then she talks.  Wow, if I had to listen to her chatter away for five minutes, I’d probably cut my ears off or something (not really, but you get the point).  She looks about 24 but then come to find out she’s actually 19 (I secretly think she’s lying).  Then she goes and sings “These Boots Are Made For Walking” and its pretty freaking good.  Then there’s this whole thing with Sharon and the Hoff not knowing if they should put her through or not, but they do.  Then there’s a couple of quick cuts with Duo Genesis, Lewis Warren, Jr., and the Shaolin Warriors, and they all go through.  Then there’s this 22-girl group called Beyond Belief Dance Company, and they’re boring and crowded, but they get through anyways.  Then cue montage of animals and their owners failing, but then comes along Paul West and his dog Tucker.  Dog does some pretty cool flips while catching frisbees, and they make it through.  And finally, there’s Paul Salos who is a pretty freaking awesome Sinatra impersonator, voice, mannerisms, and all.  I’ll keep an eye on him during the Vegas round.

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 
    First up are siblings Junior and Emily.  They are both dance teachers (according to the line under their names).  When I first saw the the commercial, I would have sworn that they were boyfriend and girlfriend, cause you need that kind of chemistry with dancing.  So when I found out they were brother and sister, it kinda creeped me out a bit.  But they were really good, with the endless twirling and all.  They seem to be favorites at the moment.  Next is the real creepy couple, Zane and Stephanie.  Married for two years, I swear they look 20.  Both are wearing yellow, and his hair bothers me to no end.  They’re a singing duo (Osmonds come to mind for some reason), but really she should have auditioned alone, she probably would have made it through like that.  Next is George the Giant, a 7′4 guy who puts a plastic tube up his nose, pulls it out his mouth, then somehow starts drinking it.  Really, it’s disturbing, but also fascinating.  Then he blows up firecrackers on his chest, and then goes through to the next round.  Finally, there’s Jessica Price who sings and plays the guitar.  She has a sad backstory, but I’m only here to see your talent sweety.  When she starts, you can tell she’s nervous.  But she gains a bit of footing and is pretty decent.  They put her through to the next round.

ATLANTA, GEORGIA

     For some reason, they decided to have a stripper montage which was quite uncomfortable and not entertaining.  People, stripping is NOT work a million, so get on with your lives!  The Southern Belles say they are cloggers, and that quite interests me.  Then Jet’s “Are You Gonna Be My Girl” comes on and I love them already.  They’re awesome at what they do and they go through.  Then Dan Meyer comes on the stage and sticks swords down his throat and scares the crap out of all the judges.  And they put him through.  And finally David Minitello comes in and and charms the pants off of the judges and America.  He had autism til he was three, and he started singing.  I swear, every response that he gave made me think he was all the more adorable, just like WALL-E.  His voice isn’t the greatest, but its cute and they put him through because, honestly, who would X a 10 year old and not put him through?

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